Dr. Meredith Butulis
Have you given up on New Year’s Resolutions? Welcome to being human. Strava, the fitness App with over 800 million users, conducted social research to name January 19 “Quitter’s Day.” What if there was a secret ingredient to fuel our path for success instead of becoming a quitting statistic? Great news; the answer has been scientifically proven, and the answer is not willpower.
The secret ingredient is authenticity. Authenticity brings your true values and interests to the surface. Success lies not in chasing a well-meaning goal, but identifying goals that allow your authenticity to shine. Herein lies the problem: how well do you know your authentic self?
For the next 15 minutes, grab a journal and a pile of sticky notes. We are embarking on a 2-step interactive exercise to transform your goal setting practices. Your reward? Not just goal accomplishment, but also goals that become the fabric of your 2021 being.
The 2 steps:
- Identify your absolute core values
- Put your values into actionable sentences
Step 1: Find your core values.
Start with your sticky notes. Scan the sample words below. Select words that resonate with you, writing one word down per sticky note. If words outside of this list surface, write them down too!
When you pick words that resonate, it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders. The words feel like something you absolutely cannot live without, even if you were on an isolated island. Do not pick words that society has taught you to think of as “the right answers.” When you pick words the community has taught you to like, you feel constrained, obligated, or pressured to please others.
Abundance Acceptance Accountability Achievement Advancement Adventure Ambition Appreciation Autonomy Balance Benevolence Boldness Brilliance Calmness Caring Challenge Charity Cheerfulness Community Commitment Compassion Cooperation Collaboration Consistency Contribution Creativity Credibility Curiosity Daring Decisiveness |
Dedication Diversity Efficient Empathy Enthusiasm Ethics Excellence Expressiveness Fairness Family Friendship Flexibility Freedom Fun Generosity Grace Growth Global Happiness Health Honesty Humility Humor Inclusiveness Individuality Innovation Intelligence Intuition Kindness Knowledge |
Leadership Learning Love Loyal Mindfulness Motivation Optimism Originality Passion Performance Quality Recognition Security Service Spirituality Sustainability Peace Perfection Playful Popular Powerful Prepared Proactive Professional Punctual Radiant Relatable Reliable Resilient Resourceful |
Responsible Responsive Secure Selfless Simple Stable Strong Sustainable Success Teamwork Thankful Thoughtful Traditional Transparent Trustful Understanding Unique Useful Versatile Vibrant Visionary Warm Wealthy Well Wise Zealous |
Once you’ve finished writing your authentic word sticky notes, group similar words together. Assign each pile a category name. Pick your top 3-5 categories.
Can your category finalists be summarized as words you absolutely, positively could not live without? If not, try the exercise again from the beginning. Multiple attempts are allowed as you discover the authenticity that you bring to the world this year.
Step 2: Put your values into actionable sentences. Now it’s time for your journal. Write down your answers for this part of the exercise.
Core values are ideas. Attaining goals requires congruence between your ideas and actions. These congruent actions, known as process goals, build daily habits that stack up to your outcome success.
Fill in the blanks to formulate your process goals:
Each day, I will demonstrate _____ {insert one of your core values} by ________ {insert action}.
Example: “Each day, I will demonstrate connection by giving my undivided attention as I ask someone how the day is going.”
Once you have one sentence for each of your core values, reflect on what life will be like one year from now when you practice each of these value-based actions most days of the week. Take no more than 5 minutes to journal your answer. After 5 minutes, highlight the outcomes that make you feel a sense of joy, excitement, or inner peace.
Summary: Congratulations on taking the steps to find your authentic 2021 goals. Write them in a place where you will see them every morning. Living your goals doesn’t mean perfection, but rather allowing your soul to guide your actions. Choosing goals that build from your core values is the one secret ingredient between adding to Quitting Day statistics and goal achievement. Let’s celebrate our new authentic journey of 2021 success!
References:
- News Break. 2020. January 19th, 2020 dubbed Quitter’s Day by Strava. Retrieved from https://www.newsbreak.com/news/1490992511654/january-19th-2020-dubbed-quitters-day-by-strava
- Stavrova, O. 2018. Choosing goals that express the true self: a novel mechanism of the effect of self-control on goal attainment. European Journal of Social Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2559
- Word list development: