This article was originally published in the Winter 2024 edition of ICON/REFINED Magazine. Get your copy here.

Written by Ashley Shepherd

IG: @ashleyshepherdcpa

Entrepreneurship is often viewed as an exciting journey filled with risk-taking, trial-and-error, and the relentless pursuit of success. If you have dared to walk the path of an entrepreneur, you know that the challenges and day-to-day life can be overwhelming — long hours, uncertainty, financial strain, and the constant pressure to perform. After all, every decision, every setback, and every victory falls on your shoulders. Regardless of how much we idolize it, the weight of entrepreneurship can feel overwhelming. 

As entrepreneurs, we tend to focus on areas like scaling our business, perfecting our marketing, and keeping our customers satisfied. But in the midst of all of the endless demands, there’s one crucial factor that often gets overlooked: the role of our partner–whether for you that is a spouse or a significant other. 

The person we spend the majority of our time and life with can profoundly influence our entrepreneurial experience in either a positive or negative way. Their support, mindset, and level of involvement can either amplify our chances of success or deepen the stress, overwhelm, and isolation that accompanies many entrepreneurs’ experience. 

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Selecting your partner is quite possibly the most important business decision you can make. If you have a partner who is supportive, you may not realize just how fortunate you are. Having a supportive partner can look differently amongst couples. Some partners may act as a cheerleader on the sidelines, encouraging you and cheering you on through the good and hard times. Maybe they have a job or run their own business, but they aren’t working with you directly. Other partners are more involved–they could be a partner in the company, or assisting you with certain work. This can be beneficial because they know your strengths and weaknesses, and can usually step in for those weaknesses. 

Support can also show up in different ways–from emotional support by helping you manage your frustrations and overwhelm, listening to your ideas and plans, to physical support by helping take on some of the work or helping take care of other life obligations outside of the business. 

Having a supportive partner impacts the entrepreneur and potential success in massive ways. Supportive partners can unlock unreachable levels for an entrepreneur that they couldn’t otherwise reach with an unsupportive partner or with no partner. A supportive and healthy relationship can also provide a sense of stability that allows the entrepreneur to focus on work, since they may have less worries at home and they don’t have to use time searching for a partner. Having a supportive partner can feel as though you are on a team rather than going it alone. After all, teamwork makes the dream work. 

The Unsupportive Partner

While having a supportive partner sounds like striking gold, we don’t all have that experience. 

There are numerous ways partners can show up as unsupportive–this may look like complaining about how much you work, shutting down your big “unrealistic” dreams or goals, ignoring your excitement about an achievement, intentionally making demands that conflict with business needs, or not being emotionally available for you during hard times. This naturally makes the entrepreneur’s job and life much more difficult. 

Receiving this lack of support from a partner can lead them to feel isolated, discouraged, not motivated to achieve their goals, and more stressed and overwhelmed. Being in a relationship and feeling like your partner doesn’t have your back or isn’t supportive of you can be a massive burden, and it can consume your mental and energetic energy throughout the day, leading to burnout and potential resentment. 

Before we throw all the shade at the unsupportive partner, we must put ourselves in their shoes. Not all unsupportive partners started this way–some of them have had experiences that have led them to become unsupportive. Some of the reasons may include feeling neglect from their partner, the business being prioritized over them often, neverending seasons of “long nights and weekends,” not being included or kept in the loop, or the business taking away from the relationship and family instead of contributing to it. It’s fair to say no partner would willingly sign up for that. 

If you have a partner who appears unsupportive since day one, it may be worth questioning if they are actually unsupportive or if there is more to the story. They may not fully understand what your vision is or what you’re trying to accomplish, they may fear how the business will impact your life together, or they don’t know how to be supportive in the exact ways you need. 

Communicate to Move Forward

If you find yourself in a situation where you believe you may have an unsupportive partner, there’s absolutely no reason to throw in the towel just yet. Getting to the root of the problem and figuring out how to solve it together can make the relationship stronger, and ensure both partners win. Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor and Relationship Expert based in Phoenix, AZ recommends opening up dialogue with your partner to improve your situation. The first place to start is to ask your partner if they’re willing to have a vulnerable and transparent conversation regarding a concern you’re having. You’ll want to ensure they are in the right headspace and feeling safe before entering the conversation. Having real and transparent conversations like this can be hard at first, but sometimes this is all we need to have a breakthrough and achieve our desired level of support. 

If you both agree to hold the conversation, there are five skills to use to ensure it stays safe and productive:

1. Listen to understand. Intently listen to what they are saying and stop yourself from preparing your argument in your head of why they are wrong.
2. Assume positive intent. We want to avoid quickly becoming defensive by assuming we are being attacked. 
3. Use validation and reflective statements. Acknowledge what our partner shared, reflect back in our own words to confirm we heard and understood what they said, and validate their experience and emotions (even if yours are different).
4. Use “I” statements. Replace “you” with “I” statements so you are simply expressing your feelings or emotions. Instead of saying “You are never supportive” you may say, “I am feeling alone in my entrepreneurial efforts.” 
5. Be clear and direct. Avoid being passive aggressive or argumentative. If we can be clear and direct with what we need to feel supported, we have a better chance of receiving it from our partner. 

The journey of entrepreneurship is greatly influenced by the quality of support we receive from our partners. Ultimately, success is best achieved with the help of others; our partners can be the missing ingredient needed to reach new levels and fulfill our biggest dreams and goals.