Mental Health Awareness Month is finally coming to a close, and it has truly been a month for the books. With suicide rates on the rise due to the pandemic, I thought it would be invaluable to talk about something in honor of the season: getting help. I’m no stranger to mental health disorders, specifically anxiety and depression, and it’s been an ongoing struggle I’ve been trying to overcome for many years. Though it’s always going to be a part of who I am, through the combined help of therapy and medication, I’m finally at a place to share that there is hope.

First of all, I just want to say that there’s no shame in reaching out for help. I know that there are some stigmas around therapy, medication and the like, specifically with older generations, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s time to start normalizing the necessity of asking for help and I, along with a whole wave of others, are openly advocating for it.

I was one of those children who grew up in a household that thought therapy was “unnecessary” and all of my problems were just “in my head.” It was this sort of thinking that led me to put off my own mental health for nearly 20 years.

It wasn’t until I was well into my 20’s, moved out, going through a very rough divorce and having a mental breakdown that I knew I couldn’t do it on my own anymore. I needed help, but I didn’t even know where to start looking.

I couldn’t talk to many people about how I was feeling –certainly not my family– but I had one friend who I trusted, and reaching out to her was probably a lifesaving decision. I noted how I had been feeling, knowing she too had recently been going through some tough things, and she suggested I make an appointment with her therapist (who, coincidently, she found by asking a friend).

I ummed and awed about it, with the words I’ve heard all-too-often lingering in my head “you don’t need therapy, it’s all in your head!” But I was at a breaking point. The person I centered my entire life around was soon to become my ex-husband, my family lived in another state, I had literally nowhere else to turn.

My first appointment didn’t go as well as I had hoped, admittedly I learned very quickly that it’s hard seeing results from only one or two sessions and that digging into your issues can be very difficult mentally, plus I was so afraid of being judged, so I thought maybe that I shouldn’t go back.

But, I did it. I went to my next appointment. And the next one, and the next. And you know what? I wasn’t judged, at least not by the people that mattered, and certainly not by my therapist. It became the place that I could be comfortable being myself at and talking to a trained professional helped me in ways that a friend or family member couldn’t. It liberated me and all of the thoughts I never told anyone else about.

May is not only Mental Health Awareness Month for me, it’s also the month that marks my two-year anniversary of therapy, going every 2-3 weeks religiously, on my good days and bad. And I have to admit, it’s not always been a walk in the park. Some days I find it incredibly hard to even justify getting out of bed only to talk about my problems, while other times I feel like I don’t have anything to talk about at all. Moreso, I find it hard to justify spending time and money on me. 

But you know what? I just remind myself that despite all those negative thoughts, it’s worth it because I’m worth it and even the smallest improvements are still improvements.

Looking back on it, I’m totally different from the person I was two years ago, and yes I still struggle with some anxiety and depression, but through therapy, I have learned better coping mechanisms and how to accept things as they come –for better or worse. Honestly, I feel as though control of my emotions has finally been given back to me and this seemingly small achievement has trickled into every aspect of my life –from starting my own business to just being able to relax and take time for myself, therapy has made me a believer in my own abilities.

It’s been a rough journey with many ups and downs along the way, but with the right therapist, I believe that the power to get into a healthier headspace is possible, perhaps even life-changing. My only wish is that I would have had the courage to do it sooner, and I hope by posting this I can encourage someone, maybe even you, to not wait either.

What’s more, therapy isn’t just for people with mental disorders, it’s a safe space to talk about daily stressors, work through problems, and grasp a better handle on life. No matter who you are, at some point you will go through situations that are difficult to work through, therapy (or talking to someone you can trust) can really help.

And, most importantly of all, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

If you want to know more about mental health in America, find help and more, you can do so through Mental Health America.